Being full of humbuggery, I guess I will continue my previous (and oh so premature) railing against holiday specialty items. Don’t freak out, I promise that I won’t talk about the early appearance of Santa statues in the Walmart during September or rattle on about the quantification of the holiday season and the real meaning of Christmas.
Oh no, secularize away, holiday season. I‘ll be at home polishing my “Happy X-Mas” Hanson CD and watching the neighbors put up those massively hideous inflatable snowmen on their balmy arid-plant landscaped front yards. But despite the fact that I was raised in a home where every holiday is stripped down to its most base gift-giving manifestation, I can’t help but quail when confronted with grade-school kids selling wrapping paper out of catalogs.
A co-worker placed a catalog suggestively on my desk today while pitching the yearning desire of an offspring to be a classroom best seller. She knew, she claimed, that I was a bit young for buying expensive wrapping paper and probably hard up for cash. Helpfully, she suggested the multi-purpose gift bags.
Since my day has been very slow, I have had no choice but to browse the catalog and ponder. (It’s a widespread weakness for magazines and catalogs…I love the Skymall.) After all, I couldn’t take the chance that sandwiched between the Elegant Rhinestone Picture Frames and multi-level candle holders there was something that I might need.
Like a tote-bag that has clear pockets on the outside were I can arrange my photos for display.
To conclude, (and one must conclude so as to commence furious working) one question haunts me: will I ever evolve into such a domestic and well-adjusted adult that I will be comfortable buying something costing 10 dollars and labeled “Item: 0226. ‘Ready, Set, Snow!’ Snowman Roll”?
Oh no, secularize away, holiday season. I‘ll be at home polishing my “Happy X-Mas” Hanson CD and watching the neighbors put up those massively hideous inflatable snowmen on their balmy arid-plant landscaped front yards. But despite the fact that I was raised in a home where every holiday is stripped down to its most base gift-giving manifestation, I can’t help but quail when confronted with grade-school kids selling wrapping paper out of catalogs.
A co-worker placed a catalog suggestively on my desk today while pitching the yearning desire of an offspring to be a classroom best seller. She knew, she claimed, that I was a bit young for buying expensive wrapping paper and probably hard up for cash. Helpfully, she suggested the multi-purpose gift bags.
Since my day has been very slow, I have had no choice but to browse the catalog and ponder. (It’s a widespread weakness for magazines and catalogs…I love the Skymall.) After all, I couldn’t take the chance that sandwiched between the Elegant Rhinestone Picture Frames and multi-level candle holders there was something that I might need.
Like a tote-bag that has clear pockets on the outside were I can arrange my photos for display.
To conclude, (and one must conclude so as to commence furious working) one question haunts me: will I ever evolve into such a domestic and well-adjusted adult that I will be comfortable buying something costing 10 dollars and labeled “Item: 0226. ‘Ready, Set, Snow!’ Snowman Roll”?
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