It is sometimes very troubling to me that all people seem to be quite crummy. [I will pause here for a few important notes: a) Obviously there are a few notable exceptions to the previous dramatic generalization b) Don't brackets look bitchin' with Courier? I can't match my clothes too well, but at least my favorite punctuation matches my favorite font] To resume...
People are oftentimes damn disappointing specimens of humanity. Now, I'm not just saying that because I read Catcher in the Rye yesterday and I'm feeling rebellious, or because I couldn't find anywhere to park this afternoon because there were too many cheerful families toting their cheerful veggies home from the Farmer's Market. Furthermore, I give you my solemnest swear that I'm not about to go off on some rant riddled with bolded words and these suckers -->!!!!! about how consumerism and superficiality is ruining Western Civilization. I certainly drink name brand soda (the elusive Ruby Red Squirt) from the cups I bought from Target too often to engage in that type of banter. After all, it's not society that makes me want to hide in my room with a stack of 19th century novels featuring heroines that overcome their social position as governesses to marry their mysterious employers...oh no, it's the people all around.
And I don't want to hear anything about (from you, stupid 2nd person anon. internet) how you can't consider people outside the context of society, because I am determined to stick to my rash statement. All I know is that I love tacky manifestations of culture in abstraction ( Rock of Love; energy drink slushies now available at 7-11; grown women dressing up in Harry Potter costume contests) while people make me want to stab myself in the face. Jesus-in-a-juicebox, I've gotten all emo, and that wasn't at all my point.
Self mutitalating digressions aside, my intent in writing this was not to catalog all of the enormous jerkwads that I encounter daily. Nay, I wanted to discuss a startling generous act visited upon me by my sister today.
I don't mean to be ungenerous myself by saying "startling;" it's just that my sister has the sort of survivalist instincts that would have scared the piss out of Darwin and all of his little finches. So imagine my surprise when she burst upon me this afternoon (finding me full of snot and secretarial rage) and presented me with lunch and a box of cold meds. I was frankly flabbergasted. Not only had she braved the awkwardness of ordering the unlisted 2-Cheeseburger Meal, but she had sprung for both the day-time and night-time pills.
There is nothing like an unexpected Value Meal to restore one's goodwill toward humanity. [Restorative powers of corny novels omitted for thematic reasons].
People are oftentimes damn disappointing specimens of humanity. Now, I'm not just saying that because I read Catcher in the Rye yesterday and I'm feeling rebellious, or because I couldn't find anywhere to park this afternoon because there were too many cheerful families toting their cheerful veggies home from the Farmer's Market. Furthermore, I give you my solemnest swear that I'm not about to go off on some rant riddled with bolded words and these suckers -->!!!!! about how consumerism and superficiality is ruining Western Civilization. I certainly drink name brand soda (the elusive Ruby Red Squirt) from the cups I bought from Target too often to engage in that type of banter. After all, it's not society that makes me want to hide in my room with a stack of 19th century novels featuring heroines that overcome their social position as governesses to marry their mysterious employers...oh no, it's the people all around.
And I don't want to hear anything about (from you, stupid 2nd person anon. internet) how you can't consider people outside the context of society, because I am determined to stick to my rash statement. All I know is that I love tacky manifestations of culture in abstraction ( Rock of Love; energy drink slushies now available at 7-11; grown women dressing up in Harry Potter costume contests) while people make me want to stab myself in the face. Jesus-in-a-juicebox, I've gotten all emo, and that wasn't at all my point.
Self mutitalating digressions aside, my intent in writing this was not to catalog all of the enormous jerkwads that I encounter daily. Nay, I wanted to discuss a startling generous act visited upon me by my sister today.
I don't mean to be ungenerous myself by saying "startling;" it's just that my sister has the sort of survivalist instincts that would have scared the piss out of Darwin and all of his little finches. So imagine my surprise when she burst upon me this afternoon (finding me full of snot and secretarial rage) and presented me with lunch and a box of cold meds. I was frankly flabbergasted. Not only had she braved the awkwardness of ordering the unlisted 2-Cheeseburger Meal, but she had sprung for both the day-time and night-time pills.
There is nothing like an unexpected Value Meal to restore one's goodwill toward humanity. [Restorative powers of corny novels omitted for thematic reasons].
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