Thursday, May 22, 2008

A series of unfortunate facts.

A. Safeway is no longer serving its generic Safeway Select brand of soda in flats.

I have never bought a flat of soda, but I appreciate the concept. If you wanted to mix and match 6-packs of blackberry, "cola," and grapefruit flavors, the flat was the only unit of purchase where you could do so with relative ease. The cardboard rim encompassed an infinite realm of sugartastic possibilities. Now the sodas are only available in dreary uniform 12 packs adorned with the new "arty" flavor differentiations [a picture of the fruit surrounded by parenthesis]. I'm going to think twice before I go on my next grapefruit soda run, because although I'm okay with the cashier knowing that I'm the sort of person who drinks a 6 pack of grapefruit soda while reading a novel with the word "mage" in the title, I don't know if I can handle the stigma of being the sort of person who drinks a 12 pack of grapefruit soda while pursuing the same activity.

B. 1652 is the estimated date of the first coffee house opening in England.

Gee, thanks 1652.

C. My school steals my money to buy water-wings for drunk chicks.

It has so happened lately, with graduation swiftly swooping down upon me, that the value/meaning of a college education has been under discussion at many gatherings. In these debates I usually take a very moderate stance: college is good for some people, but for others (America Studies?) it is simply a method of prolonging the inevitable job-having lifestyle. But in general I have defended the University system, pounding my UC Davis nalgene like a gavel against the table-top. How wrong I have been.

This morning I was reading the newspaper and on the front page there was this article about the tradition of Davis students taking houseboats out on Shasta Lake for Memorial Day weekend. This is no surprise to me, as I'm well aware of this floating keg-fest having had several friends attend in the past and with my own roommate preparing to leave tomorrow. What did surprise me was to learn that the student government (ASUCD) this year sanctioned 3,500 dollars to ensure that there will be a Safeboat with a host of medical supplies and personnel and 2,000 condoms available to the students at this recreational event unaffiliated with the school. This after the school called and solicited me for 20.08 (get it?) dollars in donations to commemorate my graduation. Pssh, I'm not going to donate money so that some damn kids can make a raft out of inflated free condoms held together by free Scooby Doo bandaids so they can row after a can of Keystone Light that floated away down the river.

On a re-read it would appear that I am stalwartly anti-fun. This is usually not the case.

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